Jamaica

Sometimes, when the sun is shining and the day isn't too nippy, I lay out on our deck in my undies.  Not only do I need the vitamin D, but I need a little sunny escape from our all too frequent gray sky days.  I close my eyes, feel the warmth on my skin, and pretend I'm on a tropical beach somewhere.  I imagine the palm trees above my head, the sound of the surf, the turquoise waters lapping at my feet.  I live in this wonderful little fantasyland right in my own backyard and it doesn't cost me a thing.

Of course, sometimes, the real thing is nice, too.  Such was the case last week when I took off with my friend, Cathy, to Jamaica.  I billed it as my Mother's Day gift, since the best gift this mother could receive is a break, but it was mostly a gift of companionship to Cathy, who needed a vacation far more than I.  Her husband spent days on life support and in intensive care for months after a surgery went horribly wrong.  Now that he’s back home, she needed to get away and relax.  How could I refuse her invitation?

I'd never been to Jamaica before and I could never have imagined it to be so lovely.  We went to an all-inclusive resort called Couples Tower Isle. The pictures, even if they said a thousand words, could only go so far in describing what it's like.  The staff was the nicest I’ve ever encountered, the food five-star, the grounds immaculate, and the setting – stuff dreams are made of.  The ocean water was delightfully warm and all the amenities and free excursions put this place over the top.  It was pure heaven.

This indulgence had me working hard daily at not feeling guilty, but my dear husband sent me email reminders that I was worth it.  Such a sweet man. 

Each night, for the last few months as I’ve been making dinner but would have rather been doing something else - anything else - I've been telling myself, "This is why I'm going to Jamaica."  It's good to be rewarded for things like motherhood, domestic duties and caring for the needs of others.  Not everyone is so lucky, however, and I know it.  Some people work hard their whole lives and never get a trip like the one I just took.  This is where my internal struggles came into play - trying not to think about that or the other things I could have done with the money I spent getting there - even though it was a bargain by anyone's standards.

And now that I’m back home and facing laundry, weeding, grocery shopping, bill paying and making dinner again every night, at least I’ll have the memories.  My fantasy time on our deck will be a little richer, too.  All I have to do now is train my son and husband to bring me a cold drink and address me as “My Lady” and I’ll be right back at that resort.