Lessons Learned

Parenting has its challenges.  I am sure I fail as often as I succeed at steering my son toward a successful adult life.  I pray he doesn’t crash along the way.

I’ve noticed, over the years, there are things in Kaleb’s life that just come naturally to him.  I never taught him to read, for example, he taught himself when he was three.  He is so passionate about reading, if he doesn’t have a book in hand, it’s as if his oxygen supply has been cut off.  How he can remember to always grab a book as he leaves the house, but not his coat, remains a mystery.

Kaleb is perfectly happy being alone with a book.  Concerned for his social skills and fearing he’d be labeled one of those “awkward homeschool kids,” I had him read, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  I haven’t noticed it’s made any impact, however.  I’ve also given him several pointers on how to befriend new kids. He protested with, “I don’t have your personality, Mama.  I am who I am.”

I should have known better than to suggest Kaleb be something he’s not.  Encouraging his strengths, rather than pointing out his weaknesses, seems a whole lot wiser.

I had a huge learning curve in that arena myself several years ago, when I took a personal development course.  All the people attending this class were to draw a picture of their “long term vision.”  We were given paper, crayons, paints, and brushes.  I moaned.  Artwork is a challenge for me, so I cringed at the thought of sharing my drawing with the rest of the group.  Stick figures are my forte, yet I’ve seen kindergarteners draw them better than I.  It was a bit torturous to put something on paper.

As people began to share their incredible visions, I sank in my chair.  I was way out of my comfort zone.  Every drawing had clarity, color and imagination like I’d never seen.  When it was my turn, all I could do was apologize over and over for my lack of artistic skill, and I said more than once, “Sorry, but I can’t draw... I can’t draw... I can’t draw...”.  I couldn’t wait to sit down and be done with the humiliation. 

I was feeling more than embarrassed about my artistic “giftings,” but when the next guy got up, he made my art work look like a Picasso.  My first thought was, “Hallelujah, someone draws worse than I do!”  But, as he was unrolling his masterpiece and showing it to the class, the words that came out of his mouth played off my pathetic apologies.  “Well, I can draw,” he said, “but this is as good as it gets.”  Everyone applauded.  He had much less skill than I, yet he was perfectly content with his limitations.

Remembering that, made it easier for me to just let Kaleb be who he is, whether he wins friends and influences people or not.  I’m just thankful that kid loves to read.