Burn Out

I had a dream last week, shortly after the 15 visiting Norwegians departed, that I got in the car to go somewhere, put the key in the ignition and turned it, but the key broke in half, leaving half of it stuck in the ignition switch and the other half in my hand.  I wasn’t able to go anywhere and had no way to get the broken half out. 

It’s interesting how my subconscious manifested my conscious life in such a way, as I’ve been suffering total burn-out since our guests left last week.  I haven’t been able to do a thing, except call the septic guy to come pump our tank, since more than a Costco size bundle of toilet paper ended up down there.

Even the thought of opening the refrigerator was more than I could bear.  Having to figure out what to do with all the leftovers, the pieces of meat no one in this house will eat, the veggies that never made it into a salad – it’s all just been too overwhelming.  My husband and son were gone last week to Scout camp, so once the Norskies left, I ate cereal and milk for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I was so tired of cooking.

I’m not as exhausted physically, as I am mentally.  Perhaps it was having to speak Norwegian so much, or anticipate the needs of all those people, or coming up with Plan B, when the initial plans didn’t pan out.  Maybe it was the weeks of cleaning I did before they came or the sleeping on an air mattress that goes flat instead of my own bed while they were here.  I’m not sure what took the greatest toll, but some energy plug got pulled and I’ve yet to figure out how to recharge my batteries.  I guess that’s why, in my dream, the key was stuck in the ignition.

My husband tends to think I have endless amounts of energy and nothing slows me down.  Oh, if only he were around last week.  He only thinks I can’t relax.  The couch has been my friend.

A friend gave me the nickname “The Queen of Everything,” and when I was working for the phone company, my employees called me TWWGTD – which stood for “The Woman Who Gets Things Done.”  I think those days are gone.  I get tired now just thinking about doing something, long before I actually do it.

Kory came home from Scout camp and listened to my endless moaning about not having the energy to even clean out the frig.  He immediately began on the task – freezing that which can be frozen, tossing out that which was past due.  It was his way of restarting my engine.  He then got out a wire brush, a scraper and the pressure washer and put me to work prepping the side of our house that so desperately needs repainting.   He started quoting some NPR report that said people who have a purpose in life live longer.  I guess he figured I was just going to curl up on that couch and die.